Okay, lets try this again

the report has taken a break for a reason: I didn't like what was going on here.
to solve that problem, i've brought petty in to help me tear this apart.
What does that mean for you?
It means that you can either ignore this in the future, or look forward to the most terrible, whiny, vulgar, awesome page ever.

We're not just tabloids anymore, we're making the news.